The Ugliest Houses in San Francisco

San Francisco is home to some of the most gorgeous Victorian buildings in the country. These houses are some of the most expensive and, in my opinion, some of the most interesting houses you can find in seven square miles. For the most part, San Francisco home owners consist of an eclectic mix of ex-hippies, yuppies and liberals. The residential expression of this diverse, compact population is often times spectacular, and sometimes down right hideous. See four of my favorite eye-sores:

Poo House

This first house is a personal favorite of mine and Greg's, and certainly a favorite of our neighbors'. You might think it's unfair to put a house that is obviously under construction on this list. What you don't know is that this house has been looking like this since we moved into our apartment a year and a half ago, plus who knows how long before that. What posses someone to paint poo swatches all over prime San Francisco real estate and then do nothing with it for over a year, is beyond me. Poo house, we salute you.

Orange House on Fell 
"with all the flags and shit"

Sure, there are hundreds of houses in San Francisco that are painted bright, hideous colors. What makes this one special? It's located on one of the busiest streets in the city, plus, this monstrosity is nearly half a block long. I'm sure most people that are familiar with the Panhandle area will remember this house. I'll give the owners kudos for standing out, which can be a tall order in these parts. Sidenote: the picture does not really do justice to how bright this house really is. It looks like a Del Taco.

the Haunted House
Haunted House | The Ugliest Houses in San Francisco | Crappy Candle

Haunted House | The Ugliest Houses in San Francisco | Crappy Candle

When I first saw this house, it was close to Halloween. I quickly realized the fluff and clutter was never coming down. What with the multiple tacky knicknacks, year-round Christmas decorations, multiple dirty hippie bumper stickers and obvious hatred for re-painting, this house is not lacking in character.  There is a fine line between interesting and ugly. I like to think this one falls on the interesting side.

zee Gaudy House zee ugly one
Gaudy House | The Ugliest Houses in San Francisco | Crappy Candle

For every house with character, there is one of these. sigh. The front of the building is completely flat. It was painted to appear to have inlays and protrusions. And the fountain on the garage? That isn't real. Disappointing, I know. I also noticed after taking this picture that they chose to paint the side walk as well. sigh. Words fail me.


  1. I was curious when you posted on Facebook about ugly houses and now I see what you are up to! I'm so glad the orange Fell Street house made the cut. I call it the I-need-sunglasses-to-look-at-you-house. Anyway, very neat that you are up and blogging. It will give me something to entertain myself with during the work day.

  2. do you know the location of the one on the bottom?

    1. It's in the Cole Valley/Ashbury Heights neighborhood, east of UCSF. I want to say it's on 17th, but I'm not sure. Also, I wrote this 3 years ago, so there is a chance it looks different now!


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