About

ABOUT ME

HI. My name is Shay and Crappy Candle is my blog. I have had worked published at In The Powder Room, Fido Friendly Magazine, and in a book that consists solely of Amazon reviews. I am also on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

I live in Southern California with a Greg and a dog named Penny. I've always wanted to write a FAQ, but considering how rarely I get questions from people, I'm going to have to fake that a lot of people are asking me questions:

FAQ
  1. What do you do for fun? I want to get to know you better.
    This question is much easier to digest if I imagine a 12 year old is asking me rather than a middle aged man on a dating site. I'll go with 12 year old:

    I love to watch movies, make things, and listen to 80s/90s music. I also love dogs, fox-like animals, and birds with rosy cheeks. I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was young, so I majored in biology in college. I am not a biologist or health professional of any kind, although I still love science. I've also always loved art, and was drawn to acting at a young age. It scared me for a long time, so I didn't take my first acting class until I was in my 20s. I'm focusing more on writing stories now, but would love to get back into acting activities.

  2. Is this blog appropriate for a 12 year old?
    Hmm. Tough question. I use foul language, so if that's an issue, then no. My topics are usually fairly PG though.

  3. Why do you use foul language? It's not lady like.
    Greg always tells me that foul language has a time and place. Overuse is less about being a "lady" and more about being lazy. I write the way I speak, so if that's not lady like I suppose I am man -- a man who's trying darn hard to be a less lazy writer.

  4. Who is Greg?
    Greg is my husband. He is a wonderfully skilled comic book artist. It has taken several years for me to feel less pretentious using the term "husband" so I think I deserve a piece of candy and a pat on the head.

  5. Is he yummy?
    Oh ugh. Gross. That's so gross.

  6. What else do you find gross so I can avoid grossing you out in the future?
    I think "belly" is super gross. I do not care for the term "little one."

  7. That's probably because you aren't a mommy. Where are the little ones?
    I resent that. My dog licks the inside of my nose all the time to show me how much she appreciates me being her mommy.

  8. What kind of dog do you have? Why don't you write more about her?
    Penny is part Australian Cattle Dog, part Beagle, part my precious. She's really sweet, super skittish, and totally spacey. I have written about her in some informational and how-to articles; she also has a youtube channel and an IG because she's young and hip.

  9. Why don't you write more blog posts?
    I don't think so Annie.
    You want me to do things to you like the sun and the moon.
    I don't have time. I have too many weemon.

  10. Why are you such a sarcastic a-hole? 
    I care more than I let on. In the eternal words of Kristen Stewart, "I'm like, actually, no one gives a fuck like me. No one gives more of a fuck than me."

  11. You only have, like 70 blog posts. Why do you have so many social media accounts for this dumb blog?
    I really love talking about myself. Creating these accounts is my pleasure and my duty.

  12. What do you DO?
    If I don't know you very well, or am afraid of your judgment, I will tell you I am a digital marketer, online writer, and a proofer. If I do know you and/or I am drunk, I will tell you that that question was brewed in hell and it smells of sulfur.

  13. What the hell is a "proofer"?
    A proofer is someone who reads something that is going to be published and looks for spelling, grammatical, formatting, and factual errors. I love to research, so finding factual errors is one of my favorite things.

  14. Ha. You're awful. I found a typo in one of your articles.
    That wasn't a question, but I know, I am awful.

  15. Can I tell you about a typo I found?
    Please do. Sometimes I write these blog posts while on Valium and I need a little help. That was a lie, I don't even know what Valium is outside what Winona Ryder says about it in the film Beetlejuice.

  16. What is "The Acne Experiment"?
    The Acne Experiment is a series I started in August 2014 in which I test various "acne cures" on my face, then publish some really gorgeous before/after pictures. A list of all posts, plus Acne Experiment FAQs, are here. Policies FAQs are here.

  17. How do I contact you?
    Tweet@ me here. You can also "Ask Me Anything" over on Tumblr (answers are posted here)

6 comments

  1. I love your attitude [ and of course your humor ] ... Greg's a lucky guy!

    Anyway, serious rhetorical questions [ i.e. don't reply ]
    - Have you tried changing your diet?
    - Have you tried using an SLS free toothpaste?

    And one tip - avoid roasted foods! [ That includes any food that recursively contains roasted foods like nuts etc... ]

    Opt for boiled instead.

    Take care!

    p.s. You are are naturally very very pretty!

    -Guest

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I CONNECTED WITH YOUR BLOG ABOUT THE TRADER JOES TURKEY SANDWICH WHEN YOU MENTIONED THE MAYO I BURSTED OUT LAUGHING ONLY BECAUSE I CAN RELATE THAT WAS PROBABLY MAINLY WHY I ALWAYS CHOSE THAT SAMMICH HAHA I TOTALLY FELT YOU ON A PERSONAL LEVEL GROWING UP MY DAD WORKED AT TJ AND HE WOULD ALWAYS BRING ME THOSE SO WHEN I FOUND OUT THEY GOT DISCONTINUED FOR WRAPS I WAS DEVISTATED ITS BEEN SIX YEARS AND I FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING SOMEONE TO ATLEAST LEAD ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AS TO WHAT TYPE OF MAYO THAT WAS THANK YOU <3 HAHA

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dear Shay, please keep writing. I have only recently found your blog and it is now one of my favouritist things on the whole internet.

    To the Anonymous commenter who suggests Shay should eat foods that are boiled, not roasted, I say you clearly do not love life or have taste buds.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you so much to everyone. :)

    ReplyDelete

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