How to Publish a Blog Post in 20 Easy Steps

How to Publish a Blog Post in 20 Easy Steps :: Crappy Candle

  1. Brain storm approximately 10 different blog post ideas.
  2. Find the idea that inspires you the most.
  3. Sit on the idea for a week to see if you still like it.
  4. Realize what an idiot you are. What a stupid dumb idea. Why are you so stupid.
  5. After a week that one idea should look less like a turd.
  6. Make some iced tea.
  7. Read other things to "research."
  8. Find/take some photos for the blog post. Images are important because people are visual.
  9. Pinterest is important. Put some swoopy fonts on those images.
  10. Write the fucking thing already.
  11. Get over yourself. Unclench your butthole. Just squeeze it out.
  12. No really, no one cares.
  13. Read through your first draft and move some stuff around so it flows better.
  14. Delete the parts that make you sound like a pretentious a-hole.
  15. Sleep on it. Really feel your pretentiousness inside your body.
  16. Read through it again and cull any potentially inflammatory or offensive language/themes.
  17. Put some of the inflammatory stuff back in. Fuck it.
  18. Ask someone to read your blog post; have them tell you what they think. 
  19. Wait for exasperated sighs and comments like "just publish the damned thing already I don't care about face wash Shay"
  20. Hit Publish.

The photo up top is me in my work space. Hello Friends. This image was also used in the Penman's Art Journal in 1907 because I am a time traveler.


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