Everything Smells Like French Fries

So, I'm kind of on a diet. Don't worry, for those of you who actually know me in real life, I'm fully aware that I don't actually need to lose weight... In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that if I did lose weight, I wouldn't be upset at all about it. At all. Thank you unrealistic societal pressures!

While the logical side of my brain realizes that my weight is fine, I do know that my overall health is in need of work. I eat lots of processed foods, I'm addicted to Coca Cola, I usually feel like I deserve some kind of chocolate reward after every meal, and I spend 95% of my day sitting/reclining. I have what I like to call a "thin/loose" body. What I don't have in fat, I make up for in lack of muscle tone and general flexibility. I like to pretend that I would be scrappy in a fight, but in reality, most people could beat me to a bloody pulp and/or snap me in half like a piece of balsa wood.

So why the sudden concern with your health, Shay? Recently, through my big girl job, I was given the opportunity to attend a luxury bootcamp. (I know, right? These things exist??) So, the program is a week long, but they advise you to start on a more regimented health/fitness/diet routine in the month leading up to the trip. They advise that you cut out caffeine, alcohol, sugar and non-sugar sweeteners, while starting to eat more vegetables/less meat. I kind of had a pre-trip "I'm still a bachelor, I'm not married YET" moment, because in the months leading up to this month, I have actually been eating MORE crap. I'm not wealthy, so I'm talking lots of boxed macaroni and cheese and fast food. None of the salads. All of the french fries.

I love french fries.

I was inspired to write this post because, I swear, the smell of french fries was wafting into my room. I live in the middle of suburbia. It's 10:30 at night. Unless some sadistic neighbor kid is eating McDonalds below my window, there aren't any french fries around here. I'm so hungry. It doesn't help that my husband is somehow never hungry and has no sympathy when I tell him I'm so hungry that I think I'm gonna barf. I am ALWAYS starving, diet or no diet, which is going to make that bootcamp trip extra special. Did I mention they only feed you 1500 calories a day? And that you're working out for 10 hours a day?

I'm not complaining, I swear. I realize I'm very lucky to have this opportunity and I am super pumped about the trip. When I come back, I hope that I am so flexible, that I will be able to twist around, look at my own butt, and bounce a quarter off of it. In the meantime, you'll find me here, dipping my sad vegetables in some sad hummus.

Image Credit: By Evan-Amos (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons