You can have it all as long as you're real chill about it. Here's how to age gracefully in 25 easy to follow steps:
- Decide you're going to age gracefully. (this is the hardest part)
- Just say no to all the hype and the nonsense.
- Throw out all your creams and serums. Products have nothing to do with graceful aging.
- Exude love and confidence.
- I mean, you really need to understand love. Like really, come on now.
- You love yourself? Not good enough. Love someone else for a change, you selfish bastard.
- Change your outlook, adjust your priorities, become a transcendent human being.
- Obtain some children.
- You can become an aunt, too. Just be proximal to some kids.
- Don't let those kids suck out your life essence.
- Be one of those glowy moms, not a dried up raisin mom.
- Don't be a raisin aunt either.
- Are you confident yet? Your children should make you feel like a superman.
- If the kids aren't doing it for you, get some new ones that appreciate you more.
- Make sure your skin is flawless.
- I guess you should have done that around step 2. Go back to the beginning and start over.
- If you weren't born with excellent bone structure, you shouldn't even be reading this.
- Now, ease into your excellent bone structure and poreless skin.
- Don't covet other people's excellent bone structure or poreless skin, your excellent bone structure and poreless skin is perfect just the way it is!
- Hi Meryl.
- If you're not Meryl, that's okay.
- Make sure you've cultivated some kind of passion that you're really good at.
- If you have this passion and you're like the best at it, you could maybe bypass some of this other crap.
- Money helps a lot.
- Become Helen Mirren.
